Coyote Tuesdays is your new hate watch reality TV show

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Just when you thought reality television couldn’t get any worse than the off-again, on-again, seriously-who-cares-about-this-shit Bachelor drama, here comes a show that will make you want to bleach your soul. And take a very hot shower afterwards.

Coyote Tuesdays is a reality show following six of Sydney’s finest, living in the Eastern Suburbs and working the Coyote Tuesdays night at Trademark Hotel in Kings Cross. Three boys, three girls, and THEY ALL LIVE IN A HOUSE TOGETHER!

Finally. The Australian answer to Geordie Shore that literally no one asked for.

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There’s the dude that says things like: “Slept with Ali. Slept with Jordan. Rhiannon? Who knows?” and someone (I’m presuming one of the aforementioned girls, because what’s a reality show without a little bit of roommate-cest?) going: “Let’s see how he likes it when I fuck one of his hot friends.” Cut to shot of Hot Friend, who looks like he should be doing promo for Stereosonic.

We’re still waiting on details, but the trailer has been released. Highlights include the nondescript one (not to be confused with the blonde one and the one with the Blake-from-Workaholics hair)¬†yelling: “I’m so over you, you’re a fucking idiot.”

Exactly.

Will we all soon echo the nondescript one’s sentiments? Only time will tell, but all signs point to “abso-fucking-lutely”.

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More highlights include the girls dancing in barely there short bob wigs, gratuitous shots of spraying Champagne on a boat (#blessed #lovemylife), and someone uttering the line: “If she hates me and throws a bottle in my face that’s fine.” No, buddy. It’s not.

Filming took place in a pre-lockout Kings Cross, but if there was one thing to seal the deal on the cross being dead to Sydney’s nightlife scene, I reckon this might be it.

Watch the trailer below, and tell us: Will you be watching?

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Alex Bruce-Smith

24. Aussie-Brit mongrel. Writer, feminist, terrible cook. Struggles at life to the point where she once got on the wrong end of a train and ended up in Austria instead of Croatia. When she grew up she wanted to be an actress, author, astronaut, architect and in advertising, in that order. Now she writes about new bars and calls it "journalism".

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